Focusing on discipline: A photographic journey

 After purchasing my camera I have immersed myself into everything photography. The camera is almost always by my side, almost being the operative word here and because of it I've missed some photographic opportunities. When I have gone out the last few times I wasn't happy with my results. Not that they were particularly bad but not up to my standards, maybe I have set unrealistic expectations and I'm not there yet. Either way I beat myself up about it. I lack discipline and that lack of discipline is evident in the inconsistency of my work. Realistically, I know the difficulties I face trying to develop my skills as a photographer while maintaining a full time job, all while simultaneously juggling your home and social life. Which leads me back to discipline and the lack there of, last year I started a workout regimen first thing in the morning with positive results. After a few weeks my days got easier, I was more focused and productive, due largely in part to discipline. 

It has been a few weeks since I've posted on Instagram and amazingly enough I seem to be handling the social media black out in stride. I think I've made peace knowing the art comes before the likes. How can I develop as a photographer when I put the cart before the horse. Truthfully, I have content, but I am trying to focus on the direction I want to take as a photographer. One morning as I sat down having a cup of coffee, contemplating my future as a serious photographer, I glanced over at the book shelf and there it was staring right back at me, The Book of the Five Rings written by Miyamoto Musashi, a samurai during the Edo period in Japan. The book was gifted to me by one of the smartest people I know and very dear friend who explained that the book on samurai strategy was used in the business world, replacing the battlefield for the board room. 

The samurai to me exemplify discipline and dedication, it not only describes what they did but who they were, with Musashi as the apex of the samurai having remained undefeated throughout his life. Although I will not face death when I pick up my camera, I know that I could only benefit from the main tenets of strategy. Starting with  1. Do not think dishonestly. I feel that if I am truthful to myself and my subjects through my photography I can capture the true nature of things. 2. The Way is in training. I should spend equal time studying theory as I do photographing. 3. Become acquainted with every art. If I learn to look through the eyes of other artist to reveal the beauty that they saw. 4. Know the Ways of all professions. Everyone has a role in this world and what they do plays a big part in who they are. 5. Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters. Focuses more on the value I get by taking a photo. 6. Develop an intuitive judgement and understanding for everything. Learn your environment and the people in it. 7. Perceive those things which cannot be seen. Simply wants us to look passed the obvious. 8. Pay attention even to trifles. Explains that you should keep one eye on your subject and the other on everything else going on around you. 9. Do nothing which is of no use. If you pick up your camera then make it worth your while. With discipline I hope to bring value to my photography, with value I hope to produce a body of work that I can be proud of. I look forward to applying all that I learn from The Book of the Five Rings to my photography. 

1. Do not think dishonestly.

2. The Way is in training.

3. Become acquainted with every art.

4. Know the Ways of all professions

5. Distinguish between gain and loss in worldly matters.

6. Develop an intuitive judgement and understanding for everything.

7. Perceive those things which cannot be seen.

8. Pay attention even to trifles.

9. Do nothing which is of no use.

Freedom behind the lens: A photographic journey

Even though I am relatively new to photography, holding my Olympus Pen F feels so natural. This is my second camera and when I finally decided to purchase it I knew this was going to be an all or nothing commitment. My previous camera was primarily used for the portraits I took of my fiancé for her blog, so the thought of going out at night to take pictures never crossed my mind. But when I went out the first time with the Pen F on what I would refer to as my photography safari, I felt a freedom that I had never before experienced. Usually, I take my camera wherever I go and shoot whatever I find along the way but this particular night I went out with the sole purpose of taking pictures. 

 I drove out that night very inspired, armed with the enthusiasm of a child and his brand new toy. Completely disconnected from the troubles the daytime brings, I ventured into the cover of night, where glimmers of lost dreams reflect under the streetlights. Here is where you find the truth, in the streets, late at night. People abandon the masquerade they parade behind during the daytime and reveal their true self. Even the empty streets tell a different story of days long past and nights yet to come. I decided to shoot in monochrome to further accentuate the ambiguity that fills the night air. As I exited the car, the cold air filled my lungs,  my heart rate increased and I began to walk down the sidewalk. This was the interview I had prepared for. Tonight would determine, for me at least, if I had the level of commitment to to cross the bridge from novice to intermediate. I continued down the street in search of the truth.

I, like everyone, enjoys being part of the action, but as a photographer you become an observer. Looking from a distance completely separated from the action. Time has no relevance here as you wander around from place to place waiting to capture a moment in time. Eyes scanning the cityscape, I clear my mind and take in everything around me noticing even the most minute detail that nearly everone would ordinarily overlook. But even before I took up photography I was an observer, always vigilant of my surroundings. It comes from being born and raised in NYC and working out of a worktruck for the past twenty years. You learn to read the streets. You know when something is about to happen, similar to the feeling you get right before it snows and although I have no formal training I believe it has translated well in my photography. 

The light and the darkness: A photographic journey

At night, when the sun sets and the darkness creeps from all corners until it fully encompasses the landscape, the sidewalks come to life as past meets present and history lies waiting around every corner. The allure of darkness has always intrigued me and many a night I would find myself walking through dark desolate side streets or main thoroughfares teaming with yellow cabs moving night explorers from place to place. Back then NYC was my home and the mood of the streets would permeate your soul like the tone of a jazz song. Today I call Los Angeles my home and although the mood is quite different there is something distinctly LA that resonates through the streets. A cross between the tinseltown of old with its storied past and a metropolitan city on the verge of becoming the epicenter of a cultural and architectural revival.  Needless to say it was a perfect time to buy a new camera and step up my photography game. Until now the majority of my creative photos have been taken with my iPhone and the portraits of my fiancé with my entry level DSLR. Even though I was severely limited in what I could do, I did make it work for as long as possible but it wasn't long before I reached my creative ceiling. I had all but abandoned Instagram, posting only a handful of pictures over several months. 

I started to recall the reasons why I first fell in love with photography and why it was equally important to be able to visually express myself as I do in my writing. But for every benefit, lied the fear of not being good enough. The what if syndrome that has plegued my life was getting in the way of my growth as a photographer and story teller alike. Then a random conversation about a completely different subject reminded me of lobsters. In a short video titled, Responding to stress, Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski explains how stress is a time for personal growth. Video found here.  It was then I knew I had to make the leap of faith, for my creative spirit that was in danger of dying under the threat of a mundane existence. 

I had already done the research and knew exactly what I wanted and it wasn't until my fifth trip to the camera store before I pulled the trigger. These pictures were all taken within the first week of purchasing my camera. I'm looking forward to seeing how the Olympus Pen-F fuels my creativity and sharing that with you. 

Unapologetic style

 If I were to have my way, I would be sitting in a sea side cafe in the south of France, impeccably dressed, drinking a cup of coffee as a cool breeze blew across the harbor rattling the mast of the sailboats. The sound of sea birds echoing in the background as I sit silently enjoying a Trinidad Topes Edición Limitada. Sadly, this is not my reality, at least for now but in the meanwhile I can dress as if it were. So it is needless to say I have more dress shoes than sneakers and more sport coats than sweatshirts. I refuse to leave the house in the evening unless I'm wearing a collared shirt. Which leads to the questions. Why are you dressed up? Where are you going? Truth be told I really don't need a reason or a destination to dress up, I do it for me. But what does that even mean? When I first sat down to write this post I didn't realize how deep the rabbit hole would take me. Basically I thought I would explain that I like to dress nice without needing a reason to do so. But as I sat down and thought about it I quickly realized that my style of dress is a reflection of who I am and how I feel, which left me with more questions than answers. So I went back to the beginning to answer those questions.

Allen Edmonds Sea Island Loafers 

The sound of hip hop blared from two sixteen inch speakers out an open window of a fourth floor apartment in the Castle Hill section of the Bronx, from the window emerged a  brash, overly confident, street smart kid who thought he had it all figured out, it was 1989 and I had just turned 18. But how did I go from this inner city kid wearing Timberland boots and Champion hoodies to wearing blue suede loafers? First off, I'd have to attribute it to the influence the cigar lounge had on me, not only did it introduced me to new people but it also opened me up to different world beyond the urban landscape I was accustomed to. But before that it was the allure of old movies and iconic images of well dressed leading men. In particular, the many looks of Bing Crosby in High Society. To me, Bing was the epitome of cool.  After that it was just a matter of taste and the ability to ignore everyone else's opinion. 

A drink around midnight

My friend Ray would always say nothing good happens after midnight. Working as a bartender I'm quite positive he's witnessed expert level inebriation. In my heyday there were a few times I ventured dangerously close to that line. But as I matured and learned to drink like a proper gentleman, I've become better equipped to face the witching hour. In my opinion, part of being a man is learning how to drink and having a drink of choice, for me that would be tequila. When I tell people they tend to cringe in horror and proceed to explain why they can't drink tequila. My response to them is you're doing it wrong. I drink my tequila the traditional way, I sip it in a lowball glass. I keep my bottle chilled so not to dilute it with ice. My tequila of choice is Don Julio Añejo. I've come to appreciate the complexity of agave aged in French oak barrels. Accompanied with a fine cigar and in the company of good friends. 

Like most guys I was introduced to tequila via a scantily clad shot girl, who playfully eluded the direct correlation between your ability to do as many shots as possible and your virility, which is an excellent marketing plan on their part. But for the consumer it leads to poor decision making and the consequences of said poor decision making is why tequila has such a bad reputation. But anything you do in excess is not going to end well. Tequila is not the monster everyone makes it out to be. The real monster is our insatiable appetites. Learning to control that is the key. Now I don't know the secret to reaching said nirvana. Everyone is different and must blaze their own trail. All I can do is light the way.  Now anyone who has had a conversation about drinking has heard the term, the line. The line refers to your limit, meaning how much can you drink before you get sloppy and sloppy is when you get looks from strangers hinting you should go home. So the search for this elusive line could very well lead you down the road to sloppy. Instead try thinking about the reason you drink and if the answer is anything else other than enjoyment maybe you shouldn't be drinking. If enjoying your drink is your top priority then remember these few suggestions. Find something you like and stick to it. Pace yourself and drink plenty of water. Stay as far away from sugary drinks and well liquor as possible. Above all remember you're too old to be doing shots. 

Summer style

The summer is the perfect time to express your sartorial savvy and after ridding myself of some unwanted weight I am more than excited to add a few items to my wardrobe. First on my list of must haves is the Sea Island suede loafers in blue by Allen Edmonds. From the moment I received the email announcing the top looks for spring I was sold. Blue suede loafers are the perfect look for the warm weather. Next on my list is the khaki slim fit travel jacket from Combat Gent. Made from 100% peached Italian twill cotton. Although I have never purchased anything from Combat Gent, the price point makes it hard to resist. 

KHAKI SLIM FIT TRAVEL JACKET | Combat Gent

The Jeffray woven polo shirt is not your run of the mill midday office party polo shirt. It's embellished with the fit and finish you've come to appreciate from Ted Baker. Because you're not run of the mill and life is too short to be ordinary. Some people may prefer to blend in with the crowd, but that is not who I am. I want to make a statement from my shoes to my watch. Which brings me to the final summer statement piece, Perlon watch straps from Deco Wrist. Available in a variety of bright colors that shows your attention to detail. 

Jffray woven jersey polo | Ted Baker

Perlon strap beige | Decowrist  

Spring to it

With February coming to a close and the vernal equinox fastly approaching the time has come to leave the comfort of flannel and wool behind and bask in the rays of the sun. For me, living in Southern California, the transition is gradual. A change in garb is purely sartorial. But in preparation of the aforementioned changes, steps must taken to ensure that everything is ready to wear. This is where I encounter my first obstacle. Since last year I have committed myself to getting in peak physical form and in the process I have managed to lose 25 pounds. Which translates to a lot of loose fitting clothes, some of which will be put out to pasture, starting with anything worn out or dated. Articles that are worth saving (i.e. pants, sports jackets, or anything new) will need to be tailored. For this part of my elaborate plan I'm actually going to need a tailor. I have not lived here long enough to know of any by reputation so I put out the feelers. I turn to my local tobacconist shop, and seek council from those who are in the know. Every man should have a strong network of friends and associates that he can turn to when he's not in the know. Learn from them and reciprocate. The information turns out to be invaluable although I am still pending results.

The rest is fairly simple, keep it clean, pressed and be prepared to extend the days outing well into the night. For nights that refuse to end I always bring along a linen sports jacket or zip up cardigan. Turning my jeans and tshirt from casual to a more dressed up look. Shoes can also be used to make that transition. In the colder months my footwear collection is made up of several dress casual boots in a variety of styles and colors. But when the weather gets warmer loafers and white sneakers take over the rotation. Just like your clothes, shoes require proper care and maintenance to ensure you'll get years of trusted service from them. After that, all that is left to do is put up your feet and enjoy the good life. 

The Forge

 The hammer shatters glass but forges steel.~ Russian Proverb

Armed with mental clarity and a newly formed focus I was ready to start. I devised a strategy and prepared for my first workout. I woke up at five in the morning. Eyes partially closed I stumbled to the bathroom in preparation of the day ahead. Curious to see where I was I stepped on the scale. I weighed 193 lbs.  I've weighed more than this before and lost the weight. This time it was different. Not only did I want to drop a few pounds, I wanted to get in shape. Being older and a bit wiser, I set realistic goals for myself. Not easy but realistic. I made my way downstairs and made my morning coffee. As I sat there drinking my cup of coffee I wondered if I was strong enough, if I had the stamina to finish, and how was I going to feel afterwards. But surprisingly enough not starting was never an option. 

I can recall watching a documentary on how samurai swords are made. They started by taking iron ore and carbon, smelting the steel in a blast furnace, painstakingly done as they had for centuries. From there they picked the best pieces of steel and took them to the sword smith. With the help of an apprentice the sword smith heated the steal in a forge. Making it into a rectangle that was folded repeatedly. With each blow of the hammer, it slowly began to take shape. When the sword was done, the hot steel was dipped in a tub of cold water forming its signature curved shape. From there the sword is taken to be polished and sharpened. Making a sword of this caliber requires knowledge, skill and dedication. The same can be said regarding fitness.  I was about to start something that would become a part of who I was as much as how I lived my life.

Needles to say I took the plunge. Several months have passed since that first day. I've lost 25 lbs. and I feel great. I'm stronger, more energetic and focused. I've created healthier eating habits combined with daily exercise to reach the first half of my goal. But everything comes at a price, at 44 years old, recovery takes longer. Old injuries resurface and new ones appear. Motivation becomes an obstacle and eventually you begin to plateau. But this is the forge. You keep the fire burning hot and keep hammering away. I chose this as a lifestyle not a pastime. My only competition is yesterday and my results are directly reflected in the work I put in. That is what keeps me motivated, being a better me. 

Wet shave

Merkur 34C

I tend to shave once, maybe twice a week. So it's not uncommon to catch me with a 5 o'clock shadow that's three days old. But when the temperature dips below my comfort zone, shaving takes a backseat to warmth and I start looking like a cowboy reminiscent of the western classic Pale Rider. Which is not necessarily a bad thing in the grand scheme it things. The cold wind whipping across the open range burning your cheeks on contact. Rubbing the coarse hair on your chin between your fingers. Trying to activate the circulation in your face. Then you ride up to this podunk town thirsting for a drink and a hot meal. Even in the grittiest westerns it wasn't unusual to see them slung back in the barber chair getting a shave because nothing is quite as invigorating as a wet shave. 

The hairs on my neck grow in three different direction. Although I change catridges around once every few weeks I was still getting ingrown hairs. Shaving was becoming more of a chore. Any man with ingrown hairs knows all to well the pain of razor burn. Not to mention the cost of cartridge razors. I could have easily joined one of the many shave clubs out there. But shaving to me is as much about how you feel as how you look. I did my research on shaving tools. Having already tried an electric razor with no success I decided to go old school. I visited a few shaving supply stores and the answer was always the same, try a safety razor. I first purchased an alum block to sooth the skin after you shave. It worked great but didn't resolve my ingrown hair problems. I then started shopping for safety razors but before I was able to decide which one to buy my wonderful fiancée gifted me the Merkur 34C for Christmas. 

I have been using the safety razor for almost a month now. The shave is noticeably closer. The ingrown hairs are all but gone. But what I enjoy most about wet shaving is slowing down and going through the steps. From using a hot towel, to lathering up with the badger shaving brush and shave soap. I get the barber shop feel without leaving the house and I'm always ready for a night out with my better half. 

Step in the right direction

"An educated consumer is our best customer", was the slogan for the men's clothing store Syms. But how educated are you when it comes to purchasing shoes? A task I recently undertook and yes, I must admit, it was truly an impulse buy. Although I was quite familiar with the brand and had always wanted a pair, my purchase was driven solely on aesthetics. Even though I'm more than happy with my shoes I really didn't know the first thing about dress shoes. I can definitely tell you what I like and I have good taste but the intricacies of shoe etiquette is beyond my knowledge. Instead of relying on an app to guide me, I decided to go low tech and use a book. A gift from my sister several years ago and I reference often. Dressing The Man- Mastering The Art Of Permanent Fashion by Alan Flusser.  A guide to every aspect of men's dress because anything worth doing is worth doing properly.

Allen Edmonds LaSalle

From what I've gathered there is a shoe for every occasion. The key is knowing when and where to wear them.  For example the Allen Edmonds Numok shoes I referenced earlier would be considered casual. At home anywhere from the office to inside the velvet ropes of your favorite vip. As my mandatory black oxford lace up I opted for a pair of Allen Edmonds Lasalle dress shoes for a more formal look.  One of the benefits of purchasing Allen Edmonds has to be the recrafting process giving you the confidence that your shoes would provide years of faithful service. Before landing in the city of angels I spent eighteen years in the more tropical inspired South Florida. It was here that I came across a pair of Maganni loafers in beige. But these days I don't spend a lot of time having drinks poolside in the lanai. With the change of season in Los Angeles (which went from summer to winter in one cold front) I get a lot of use from the two work horses of my shoe collection. Two pair of Timberland Earthkeepers chukka boots in black and dark brown. And no shoe collection is complete without white trainers. I always keep a pair of white Adidas Stan Smith but recently they released them in suede and I couldn't resist getting a pair in onyx. It's all about choices and I think I'm on the right track. 

Adidas Stan Smith  

Devil in The Details

Have you ever walked into a room and felt underdressed? It happened to me once in my mid twenties. A good friend presented me with an impromptu invite to a social mixer. With the limited prior notice I went as is, which meant jeans and a t-shirt. Needless to say I felt a bit uncomfortable. I've learned a lot since then. Today I dress with confidence. I know the difference between fashion trends and style.  

The other night I had the distinct pleasure of escorting my fiancée to one of her work events. First off I am compelled to explain that she doesn't have a conventional nine to five job. She's a social media director and blogger, which means there are plenty of check ins, updates and photos of everything we do. I mean a lot of photos.  Aside from my other manly duties I double as her personal photographer. But on rare occasions I have the pleasure of accompanying her to these events and I enjoy dressing the part. 

Pocket Squares  

That night I wore a grey tweed sports jacket with a gingham button down shirt. Dark blue jeans with black chukka boots. A matching gingham pocket square finishes the look. My goal is to look well put together but it takes time to build a wardrobe. Often we tend to overlook the subtle details that make all the difference in the world. Like the saying goes, the devil is in the details.  

Silver cuff links & Xikar Allume torch  

Bixby Fine Tooth Comb  

IWC MARK IV PILOTS WATCH  

The Hammer

 The hammer shatters glass but forges steel.~ Russian Proverb 

Image 

The hammer is subjective. The truth lies in whether you want to be the glass or the steel. Today my hammer is time as I recently had my forty fourth birthday. Not because I fear getting older but more so I want to embrace this time in my life. This all started several months ago as I sat on the couch stuffed from eating dinner, incognizant and unresponsive from fatigue. It was the direct result of a habitual home life, an excessive workload and responsibilities also known as life. I remember taking it all in and being disgusted with myself. In what I was becoming; middle aged.  The term middle aged is not about a number but a mindset. I always saw it as a resignation to how life was, all responsibility all the time. Now in no way, shape or form am I advocating anyone to abandon their responsibilities but to save yourself first. Would you rather be the worker ant who mindlessly drones to and fro or the honeybee who haphazardly flies around pollinating flowers and collecting nectar for the production of honey. 

I'm guessing that this is the point in life where men have their midlife crisis. Over compensating for a hole left by adulthood with a series of bad decisions. Which is what I could've done. But the thought of picking up the pieces in the wake of destruction left behind by a short term solution didn't seem too appealing. My answer to averting this crisis was to simply start a renaissance period of my life. This site and the fact that I'm writing was a direct result of this renaissance. Still before writing I needed to take care of myself. I sat alone with earbuds on playing Japanese flute music and meditated. I cleared my mind and visualized the changes I wanted to make. The music continued to play as I resigned my self to the task ahead. I sat still long after the music stopped. As I opened my eyes I felt a new resolve. I was ready to forge the steel. 

Morning Coffee

The melodic tones of Miles Davis' trumpet permeates the room as I sit down to drink coffee out of my stainless steel mug. It's eight thirty on a Saturday morning and I half heartedly open my laptop and log into the blog I have long since abandoned. I am not a writer. My hands have seen more time laboring with tools than they have behind a keyboard. But here I sit like a young school boy awaiting a dissimilar response from a unrequited love. Past attempts at writing failed mainly because I was writing for an audience. My eagerness to please the reader has left me undone. I stopped writing altogether. I felt as if I failed, with the constant reminder neatly stored away in my bookmarks. I've tried on numerous occasions to revive both blogs, one about cigars, the other about men's life to no avail. I am not a writer yet the need to write continually stirs from within. So I lay my fingers across the keyboard and reluctantly type words that form into sentences. Before I knew it there was a paragraph that I had written and here I am, ready to write again but only on my terms.

Writing those several lines opened up my mind to new ideas. First off I wanted to start with a clean slate, secondly I needed to consolidate all my projects on one site. So choosing the right platform was imperative. Next I had to pick a name for my blog. I didn't want a gimmicky name but rather something that had depth and meaning.  I was trying to create a mood conducive to writing no different than the dim lighting at a jazz club. Then it hit me as I conferred with my fiancé, and said, "something like Blue in Green". Referring to the song by Miles Davis off the Kind Of Blue album. A song that has always put me in an introspective mood. If I had to choose one song to listen to for the rest of my life that would be it. Blue in Green Journal she replied. Almost immediately I searched and purchased the domain name and began working on my new creative home. Which brings me to the end of another cup of coffee and the start of a new day. I placed the empty mug on the coffee table and pressed publish, looking forward to sharing my passion for writing, smoking cigars and photography.